What have you done?

As you survey the damaged landscape around you, everything comes flooding back in one fell swoop: the stress had built up so heavily that it felt like your spine had snapped under the pressure, and your mind was on fire. You had taken your sleeves with the long blades attached and completely razed the ground, the trees, everything you could touch. You had been so angry - so angry - and while it was an emotion that you'd felt so rarely before, there had been something amazingly cathartic about the entire thing...

...until you came out of the spell and realized what you were doing.

The ground beneath you has large gouges carved into it. Several trees had splintered under the weight of your fury. Hunks of rock had been torn off of the surrounding hill, and worst of all, your rampage had claimed victims. As you look over your surroundings, your eyes fall upon a small grouping of the planet's consorts. They appear to be in mourning; one of the unfortunate side effects is that while you flung debris around in the midst of your tantrum, you had paid no attention to where exactly said debris landed.

Those poor little consorts - was it a friend, or possibly family? All you know is that you took a life and you're shaking your head and hyperventilating and you let out the longest, most pitifully tormented wail as you crumple to the ground like your legs are no longer functioning.

"No! No, no, no, no! I can't-- I didn't--" You fail to voice the thoughts going through your mind, you fail to even present them in your usual third-person manner. You're shaking so badly, you claw at your hair and your face and everything just hurts, why did you do such a thing? How could you have done such a thing?

What have you done?

As you try your hardest not to screech, you just barely feel a pair of arms wrap around you. Your first instinct is to pull away because how could anyone stand to be around you right now, but his grip tightens and you find yourself leaning back into him anyway. "I did a bad thing," you barely manage to choke out between sobs, "I did a bad, bad thing..." Silently as always, he holds you tightly and you relinquish all further words to more pained wailing. You reach up to remove your glasses before they become stained with blue, and you're just going to let all strength leave you. Your body has become numb under the weight of your guilt.

You can't even count how many minutes pass before you run out of tears. Eventually, he loosens his embrace the slghtest bit and tries to pull you to your feet. You just slump against him because your legs refuse to function, and he ends up all but carrying you a short distance away to the pile. You feel the cool, smooth stones against your skin, and once he settles himself, you immediately curl up in his lap. You couldn't cry anymore if you wanted to, and yet your throat is still painfully constricted.

As you drape your body around his, you try to force the words out. But your throat is so sore from all of your screaming, your voice just hurts and you're having a hard time making your mouth work. But finally, after what feels like forever, you manage to just barely squeak something out against his neck:

"I don't wanna play anymore."